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Happy birthday to my main bitch, Shakespeare. :)

sheep-boy:

a ravenclaw inventing a spell like “ive enchanted this quill so that one dip in an inkwell and it will be able to draw from that inkwell until its out! no redipping!” and their muggle born friend just

"a…pen.you literally just used magic to make a pen" 

rocketpowers:

there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone

just let that sink in

(Source: sluttyteenwolf)

Technician as Director

  • Director: So, there's this scene where you have to jump tackle this guy and wrestle a knife out of his hands and throw him onto a bed.
  • Actors: You're gonna teach us stage combat right?
  • Director: I mean, it's not important, he just has to fall slightly before you tackle him and you won't get too badly hurt.
  • Actors: Oh...good...

seducemymindyouidiot:

jaegerbitch:

if someone calls you a slut, break their fucking neck without even hesitating or saying a single word and as they lay there on the ground dead, lean down close to their corpse and whisper

slut means the end in swedish

This should probably not be construed as valid legal advice.